more fiction.

i think this is a story worth telling. this is how she left me. i dont remember what the weather was like, christ who remembers shit like that really. it was probably cold, it was in the winter after all, but fuck, maybe it was one of those 70 degree days. not important though right? so anyhow, she called me, and gave me that 'i think we should talk' shit, that shit that makes you tense all up, like either 'oh shit, what did i do and how did she find out,' or 'what did she do, and do i really wanna know.' she said shed be over. so i hung up and waited. i tried for a while to convince myself shit was all good right, but of course with that whole tense feeling and all in my midsection, i couldnt just sit there right, so i paced. not back and forth like in a shitty cartoon or some shit, but id go to the bedroom, look around for something, never sure exactly what, and it wouldnt be there, so id try the kitchen, then the living room, then the bedroom again, but always pacing you know, trying not to think about whatever the fuck she was gonna tell me. but it didnt work see, i couldnt get my fucking mind off the shit, and so im just all wound up and dreading everything by the time she gets here, and the doorbell rings, and like i wanna panic, but thats a shitty idea, so i guess ill go answer it right, but even with my hand on the knob i think about like what would happen if i opened it and just like took off past her as she said 'hi' and ran like a mother fucker, like forrest gump dude, just took off and didnt come back til i got hungry. but that idea sucks too. so i open the door, and there she is, and i dont know why, but im surprised, and im sure she sees it, or senses it at least, cause then she gets all weird too, or maybe she was weird anyhow, and shes worried about whether im picking up on it or not, and so anyhow theres this whole weird vibe when i open the door, and i want to just slam it shut, and i even start to shut it i think, but she puts her hand out and stops me and says 'hi' like i knew she would. so we go sit down, and i turn the tv off, and she kind of looks at me wierd too, like 'you never turn the tv off, whats that all about,' but i leave it off and try to smile at her. it comes out all wrong and i can tell now that shes flustered too so i guess now ive gotta speak, right, so i sort of stammer, 'so whatd you wanna talk about?' and so she takes a second and says to me, 'theres somebody else.' just like that. what the fuck is that? so i kind of look at her right and all i can think to say is, 'for who, you?' and shes confused and nods, and i just sit there. just fucking sit there. just sit there. and this is seriously whats going through my head- 'dude, youre just fucking sitting here. dont just sit here.' and she says, 'well...' well fucking what?! 'well fucking what?! what the fuck am i supposed to say to that? uh, good for you. congratufuckinglations. what the fuck?' what the fuck. so i just sat there. she got up and left after about five minutes of me just fucking sitting there. after twenty-five or so i turned the tv back on. and thats pretty much how it went. like i said, it was winter and all. not a whole lot one can do about these things. so that was four days ago and ive been drinking alot. tomorrow i buy a gun.